


The Luckiest Guy On The Lower East Side

by qodarkness



Series: 69 Love Songs [4]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: A piece of the Theon/Sansa puzzle, Angst, F/M, Love Is Like A Bottle Of Gin Universe, Magnetic Fields, Modern AU, Robb & Theon are a gift, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-02-01 05:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21394411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qodarkness/pseuds/qodarkness
Summary: Theon felt like he’d been struck by lightning again, everything inside him burning.
Relationships: Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark
Series: 69 Love Songs [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530320
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	The Luckiest Guy On The Lower East Side

His car, Theon freely admitted, was a piece of shit. An ugly, cantankerous and barely working piece of shit to be completely clear about it. 

The price you paid, he accepted, for having a father who wouldn’t spit on him if he saw Theon was on fire and too much Greyjoy pride to accept anything more than the smallest of financial contributions from Ned Stark. So the car was what he could afford based on his crappy wages from his jobs teaching rich kids how to sail and less rich kids how to swim and accepting Ned’s offer to pay for enough repairs to keep it mobile and the Stark kids safe when they rode with him. 

Because there were two advantages to Theon’s car. Being the oldest of the Stark group (he wasn’t one of the Stark family, he knew that, everyone made sure he knew that) he was the first with a car and he could offer them lifts when they needed them. Which was the least, he thought, that he could do, after they’d taken him in, kept him alive (he wasn’t sure if he would have survived his older brothers, but he sure as fuck wouldn’t have survived Balon after Rodrik and Maron died, he knew that, and living with the Starks was the only reason he still existed). 

The second was that it was a convertible which meant that, on a sunny day like today, he could let down the roof and Sansa Stark’s red hair would stream out like a pennant in the wind and she’d curl up her long legs and put her bare feet on the dashboard and smile at him, and Theon could imagine, for just a moment, what it would be like to be someone worthy of that smile. 

“So, where to, my Lady?” he asked, as she grinned into the warm late spring air. “Study day today?”

“Sort of,” she said. “Going over to Jeyne’s. We’ve got History exams next week and I want to do well.” She shrugged. “Jeyne isn’t that good with Essosi history, so I thought I’d study with her.”

Theon raised an eyebrow. “You always do well, Sansa. Too clever for your own good. Robb told me you won a history prize the other day.” It was half a question, but he thought it was likely true. Sansa won all the prizes. Sansa was top of all the classes. Sansa was going to rule the world one day, Robb had told Theon back in the day, and Theon was willing to believe it. 

He could see the small curl of the side of her mouth out of the corner of his eye. “I did,” she said softly. “The _ Winterfell Examiner _ did an essay competition about Westeros history. I wrote it about House Hoare and Harrenhal and won.” Her tone was very quiet and very pleased as she said, “I’m the youngest winner ever.”

“You wrote about the Iron Islands?” asked Theon, genuinely surprised. “Nobody’s interested in the Iron Islands.”

“_You _ talk about them a lot,” said Sansa. “It got me interested. I know your family moved away from them when your mum got sick, but you still make them sound like they’re home.” There was a strange note in Sansa’s voice, almost a question.

“They are home,” replied Theon. As much as anything was. As much as anything could be when your father and sister moved back there when your brothers died and didn’t even let you know they were going.

“Oh,” said Sansa, quietly. “You’ve lived in Winterfell for a long time.” 

“I have,” said Theon. “But it isn’t home, you know? I just stay because Robb’d probably kill himself jumping off a roof if I wasn’t there to catch him.”

“Theon,” said Sansa, and she was definitely rolling her eyes at him, he could tell. “The only time Robb ever jumped off a roof was because you dared him.”

“Well, yeah,” smirked Theon. “But I caught him.”

“He broke his arm. _ And _your arm,” replied Sansa. 

“See,” said Theon, brightly. “I caught him.”

“_Theon!_” said Sansa, sharply. Then she stopped suddenly, as if her breath caught in her throat. “Theon,” she said and this time it was soft and kind of scared. 

He glanced sideways at her, felt his heart seize at the sight of her eyes suddenly filled with tears that she blinked away. Back when she was little, Sansa used to cry all the time - Theon used to be able to make her bawl just by pulling on her braids and he admitted he probably took advantage of that fact way too often. But since she’d suddenly shot up in height, it was like she’d grown a hard shell as well; he hadn’t seen Sansa cry in - a few years now. Except for when she’d found him when they’d rung and told him about his brothers, and she had wept all the tears he couldn’t, his eyes as dry as it he’d been struck by lightning and they’d all burned away.

“What’s wrong, Sans?” he asked, quietly.

“I’ve got to go and get the award. They’ve got a ceremony,” she looked out the window then, refusing to look at him. “Mum and Dad can’t make it - they’re going to be down in King’s Landing and can’t get away.”

The street was quiet, and Theon took the opportunity to pull over to the side of the road, stop the car in the parking lane. “That’s not great, Sans, but Robb’ll come. You know he will.”

She shook her head. “It’s not that,” she said. “I’m used to that.” Her voice got very small then. “But it means they can’t take me. Mr Baelish said he’ll drive me to the ceremony.”

“Oh,” said Theon, his voice suddenly harsh. He knew about Mr Baelish. He was an old friend of Catelyn Stark’s and the principal at Winterfell High. And every time he came over for dinner with the family and looked at Sansa, Robb and Theon’s hackles rose and Sansa made herself smaller, tried to hide inside her own skin. “He hasn’t… done anything has he, Sans?”

She shook her head again, vehemently. “Just…” she said. “I don’t want to be alone in a car with him, Theon.”

“I’ll talk to Ned,” said Theon and he reached out and lightly brushed Sansa’s shoulder, inexperienced at offering comfort. “I’ll get a note from him and drive you. I’ll bring Robb along. It’ll be a good excuse to take you if I bring Robb, too.”

“Are you sure?” asked Sansa, looking at him as if she couldn’t believe it and when he nodded, her smile was like the sun coming up. “Oh Theon, _ thank you!_” she squeaked.

“And if he ever does anything,” said Theon, and his voice was a growl. “Don’t tell Ned and don’t tell Robb. Come and tell me and I’ll punch the fucker’s lights out for you. You don’t want to tarnish the Stark honour for a shit like him, but I’m just a fucking Greyjoy and we don’t have any fucking honour. Your mother will never forgive me, but she’s never forgiven me for anything else so that’s nothing new.”

“Oh Theon,” said Sansa, smiling, and she leaned forward and left the lightest kiss on his cheek.

Theon felt like he’d been struck by lightning again, everything inside him burning. Sansa Stark was smiling at him and she was far too young and his best friend’s sister, but there was something in her eyes that told him that, if he wanted her to, she would wait for him. If he would wait for her. If he wanted her.

He wanted her like he wanted air and water, like she could save him from drowning and keep him from burning alive. 

_ “You’re a curse,” spat Balon Greyjoy, not caring that he was making a scene at the funeral of his sons, Yara hovering behind him, her face empty of anything. “You don’t deserve love, you useless little shit. You killed your mother and now your brothers are dead and they were worth a hundred of you and you still fucking walk upon the earth. You’re a fucking curse upon everything that ever loved you. Fuck off back to the Starks. I don’t ever want to see you again.” _

Theon Greyjoy lived. And everything he loved died. 

“Well,” he said, and smirked. “Doesn’t that make me the luckiest guy on the Lower East Side?”

“What does?” asked Sansa, her smile sweet and hope dawning in her eyes. 

Theon’s smirk broadened. “Getting to come to high school to pick you up,” he said. “Might find me some hot seventeen year old to fuck.”

He watched the hope die in Sansa’s eyes, her mouth turn down. “Theon,” she said, softly, her voice full of disappointment.

And the lightning burned away everything inside him, until there was only ashes left behind. 

“Not like I’ll do it in front of you, my Lady,” he smiled. “You don’t have to make it sound that bad.”

“Sure Theon,” said Sansa, and then she added softly, “Thank you, though. It’ll be good if I don’t have to go with Mr Baelish.”

“Just let me know if I need to punch him, Sans,” replied Theon and then cursed as the car lurched forward as he pressed the accelerator and then died. 

It took a few turns of the key and some quite creative cursing, but finally the car started again and Theon and Sansa resumed their journey to Jeyne’s.

His car really was a piece of shit, thought Theon.

And so was he. 

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently my brain has decided that Love Is Like a Bottle Of Gin wasn’t going to be a one-off, but that I should use a few more of the 69 songs to tell you the stories of Theon and Sansa in that world, and the things that take them to that fateful day in front of the bottle of gin. And just maybe a little bit after that day as well. 
> 
> There’s fewer dead Starks in that world :) But Balon Greyjoy is still the world’s worst parent. And I’m starting to fall in love with this Robb (who totally believed he could jump off a roof and Theon would catch him. Totally.). 
> 
> Lyrics to Luckiest Guy On The Lower East Side
> 
> Andy would bicycle across town in the rain to bring you candy  
And John would buy the gown for you to wear to the prom  
With Tom the astronomer who'd name a star for you  
But I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East Side  
‘Cause I've got wheels and you wanna go for a ride  
Harry is the one I think you'll marry  
But it's Chris that you kissed after school  
Well, I'm a fool, there's no doubt  
But when the sun comes out  
And only when the sun comes out  
I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East Side  
'Cause I've got wheels and you wanna go for a ride  
The day is beautiful and so are you  
My car is ugly but then I'm ugly, too  
I know you'd never give me a second glance  
But when the weather's nice  
All the other guys don't stand a chance  
I know…  
The day is beautiful and so are you  
My car is ugly but then I'm ugly, too  
I know you'd never give me a second glance  
But when the weather's nice  
All the other guys don't stand a chance  
I know Professor Blumen makes you feel like a woman  
But when the wind is in your hair you laugh like a little girl  
So you share secrets with Lou, but we've got secrets, too  
Well, one: I only keep this heap for you  
'Cause I'm the ugliest guy on the Lower East Side  
But I've got wheels and you want to go for a ride  
Wanna go for a ride?  
Wanna go for a ride?  
Wanna go for a ride?


End file.
